Hey all! For those of you who have stuck around, update time! And I have some good news, so read on:
I know I really haven’t been active as an author, or even logged into Wattpad, in the past year and a half and I’m really sorry about my lack of updates. “Real Life” has kinda been insane. In June of 2016, my mom passed away after fighting ovarian cancer for 2 and a half years. She was my best friend and my biggest supporter and losing her…it killed every drive I had to write. It was my very close friends and my family who got me through that rough time.
That said? My life was turned upside down. I got a crash course in learning how to drive (I’m 27 but I have terrible anxiety and was always too afraid to learn) and got my license in November. The same month, I got my first job since 2007. December was filled with holiday stress, the first Christmas without my mom, and I got my first apartment and MOVED IN the week of Christmas. Then my grandma passed away in January.
The past few months have been crazy, but I’m working fulltime, my anxiety’s being managed, and I’m scraping by on minimum wage AND I’m officially enrolled in an online college course that will put me into a career in medical coding (hopefully) by next January. So life’s been a bit hectic.
I did finish An Otherside Christmas Story (novella) in November for NaNoWriMo and Wolfshadow (Otherside #3) in January despite everything. But it’s far from the booming year of releases I’d hoped to have. Sometimes things really don’t work out the way you expect…
That said…I’m really having to sit back and reevaluate what I want in life. Because writing to publish, to make money? Isn’t fulfilling. It’s stressful, it’s painful, it makes writing NOT fun and so I just…don’t write, even though I have SO MANY IDEAS that would be awesome stories that no one else could ever write. So I’ve really had to go… Is it worth giving up my (lifelong) dream of being a bestselling author? Several of the authors I followed (including one of my once-close friends) and kept tabs on at the beginning of my indie journey in 2011…most of them no longer write. Some of them have disappeared off the map all together. These were amazing, wonderful authors…but this business is rough.
And just when I wondered if I should give up writing all together? A fan from Wattpad messaged me on my Facebook author account and told me that I’ve inspired her. And honestly? That’s really what I want. I want to write books, and spin tales, and weave words that leave people loving my characters as much as I do. I want to inspire aspiring writers with big dreams like mine, and this isn’t the first person who’s told me that my books changed their lives. I’ve received various emails and messages from fans through the past few years, and every single one came at a time when I went “is this even worth doing anymore?”.
(Yes. It is.)
I’m re-evaluating life. Really trying to decide if I still want to publish, or if I want to take a couple of years off “being an author” just to “be a writer” while a career in a (hopefully) well-paying dayjob takes off. After a couple of conversations with friends has me going: Yes, I still want to write. I still have stories to tell. I forsee about 4 more books in the Otherside series alone. But I need to give up on the hope and possibly the pipedream that I’ll make a living on my writing anytime soon. Because that means I’m writing for all the wrong reasons, and it makes me really not love the art anymore. And that’s what it is–writing is an art. A gift.
So I think I’m taking a hiatus from publishing, but not from being “a writer”. I’m not giving up my dreams of being a bestseller, merely putting them on hold. I think this is a solid decision. I still want to be read. Still want to touch my readers, my audience.
I’m going to release my books, as I finish them, on Wattpad. In their entirety, for free–but they’ll also be for sale through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and such and if you wanted to support me, as an author, and wanted a copy of a book, I would love if you bought a copy. Maybe leave a review. And I’ll start doing better about bringing you new stories.
This isn’t the end. It’s a new, and different, beginning.
Thank you so much for reading me. For supporting me these past few years. You guys have no idea how much it means. ❤ Expect the entire Otherside series up on Wattpad for free in a matter of days and I’ve got several other works-in-progress that I hope to finish this year that will be posted solely on Wattpad, so stay tuned 🙂